Listening to: Gay Aunt Jane's Cathartic Purge of Piss & Vinegar - GAJ X 4Lung
wow haha hi whoops it's been exactly a month since i last posted ^_^" uhh basically i had to take on extra hours at work, so that i can watch my bank account get below $10 every week instead of overdrafting. i want a miracle to happen. can i pick the miracle? i want $5,000 deposited into my bank account for no reason at all, with no strings attached. i've ran out of all my slack all at once - savings gone, so i keep working more and more, while chores pile up around me and i can't do it all. and every time i think i might be catching up, i end up getting sick and needing to cancel my shifts, and spending all that free time coughing shit up and sleeping on piles of laundry instead of doing anything fun or productive. in an effort to stop being sick i've taken a big break from smoking, which i've been meaning to do for a while. it's easier now that i have ADHD meds, so i don't need to be stoned to do anything at all, and yknow i still have edibles of course.
all this stress (and also the ADHD meds?) have me putting my ocs in the torment box so i can feel a bit better. plus, i have a lot of time to think about things while i'm out collecting shopping carts, which i've been doing a lot of lately. i've been working on what i hope will become a zine featuring Yarrow and Vevina, set to the lyrics of "Sorrow" by Flyleaf, so the two of them are quite on my mind.
so i bring to you some tidbits about them and then im going to bed cuz its super late <3 nite!!!
Vevina Sparklebeast: shy, awkward, always carrying a notebook around in case she is struck with the urge to write. She loves to sing but is too shy in front of others, so she practices bass guitar instead. She often takes things too seriously and has a hard time expressing her softer side to others.
Vevina was born with her vivid pinks and blues, and around the age of 7 her angel-like wings began to grow in. She sticks out like a sore thumb among the usual earth-toned pelts. She's a cat, but her muzzle is a bit longer and more square, with large, fluffy paws and ears similar to a maine coon. At 5'10" with two gigantic wings and extra fluff, people often mistake Vevina for a wolf.
She often wishes she could disappear into the background. Growing up, she begged her parents for fur-dye jobs and wing removal, but they refused. As she gets older she understands why, though it doesn't soften the blow of being bullied until the day of graduation.
When she was a child learning to fly, wings were regarded as a gross curiosity. They're caused by a gene that can skip a generation or two, so wingless parents can be surprised when their child gets nubs on their back. They take 6-12 months to grow to a usable size, and build muscle in the wings before achieving their first true flight. It's not exceedingly rare to have wings, but it has become less common over time.
Slowly, skyspace laws are introduced to limit freedom of movement. News media begins to run wild with opinion pieces on how wings are a privileged class destroying the economy, since they can travel long distances without making someone else money, and they are painted as burdens on society. Skyspace is now patrolled by cops wearing jetpacks, to prevent flyers from "endangering aircraft". Conspiracy theorists hint that winged people aren't people at all, and are either a race they've failed to differentiate from their own thus far, or are from an alien society. Wings are now required to be bound in public. Businesses are allowed to turn away customers with visible wings. Ads for wing removal focus on how "freeing" it is to live life without them.
Vevina often has to deal with society's discomfort at her body. She flies to the store late at night, to avoid being seen in the light, and to be around the least amount of people possible. One night, as she emerged from the woods she had discreetly landed in, she found herself surrounded by a group who'd heard her land while they were smoking in the parking lot. They tore off one of her wings to take flying away from her, and left one that would still mark her as different. Later it regrows as a bat wing, but that's another story...
Vevina has a super big crush on someone named Yarrow, because he's older and cooler and androgynous and confident and mysterious and talented...
Yarrow Gravehaus: outgoing, overconfident, flirtatious, loyal to friends, has one single brain cell, knows how to command the attention of a room/stage and uses this ability to make his livings. He is the lead vocalist and frontman of the band Vivisection, and Vevina is the bassist.
Yarrow was born very plain but striking, a gray cat with piercing yellow eyes and white hair. His bat wings emerged at the age of 5. When he noticed the nubs on his back, his own excitement was quickly tempered by his parents' concern and disgust. They insisted on him wearing bulky coats to keep them covered up at school. They booked him a wing removal appointment, but it wouldn't take place for another two years, so Yarrow spent those years learning to fly on his own. One day he was told he was going to the dentist, and they would need to put him to sleep to fix his teeth. He woke up later, flat on his back, without his wings.
A few years later, as he's falling asleep, a house fire breaks out from a candle left too close to a curtain. Yarrow's dad became trapped while trying to rescue him, and both of them suffered severe burns all over their bodies. Yarrow received emergency skin grafts that saved his life. His dad, however, gave up his life protecting his child from as much of the fire as he could. As his last option he had to put complete faith in being rescued by firefighters, and simply endure.
Sometimes Yarrow wakes up in a cold sweat at night, but throws the sheets off, feeling his father's unbearably tight, blazing hot embrace.
After his dad's passing, his mother became more and more distant, as she took on increasing amounts of work to pay off the various debts his death left her with. Yarrow, unaware of the family finances, is convinced she blames him for their loss.
He doesn't see any beauty in his body. It's not the irregular fur, or his hair, though he dyes it green for fun. To him, living without his wings is being forced to live as someone he's not. He can see that his life is easier than those who keep their wings, but at what cost? As he gets older, bi-curious emo girls find him VERY attractive due to his effeminate, slender build, even-toned speaking voice, and the way he wears his hair over one eye - it makes them melt when he does the bangs-flip and makes eye contact with both eyes!
He feels validated by people expressing attraction to him so he leans into it, finding his footing as a fling who will bring the weed if they'll pay for a room or have a place. But he doesn't find connection, he doesn't find someone who can relate to what he's gone through, someone who doesn't expect him to live this lie forever. He doesn't know how to get his wings back, so how can he even escape this? Maybe it's impossible.
He only tops, and puts his shirt back on as soon as they're done, worried about the visible scars on his back...
Yarrow thinks Vevina is super cute, his type absolutely is quiet girls with square jawlines and husky voices. At first, he doesn't think much of her, besides being in awe of her wings. He starts to feel extra protective of her because he responds weirdly to her self-deprecation. She can't take a compliment, and deflects with something to the effect of "it's not that good really" every time. Yarrow takes it upon himself to combat this with as many compliments as he can.